one down, three million to go

So, when Olivia was released from the hospital, it was on the condition that we'd take her to several doctors to check up on stuff that was worrying the neonatologists at Primary. They referred us to Kids on the Move, an early intervention, Headstartish place that found us an occupational therapist that we really like. He helps with motor skills and feedings (although so far, the feedings have remained problematic.) and basically reassures us every other week that Olivia's meeting milestones. We have met with her pediatrician several times, of course. We really like Dr. Conner, from Utah Valley Pediatrics in American Fork. She kind of specializes in g-tube kids and neurologically challenged kids, which is why we chose her. She can always find an appointment for us when we need one, which seems to happen to us a lot as new parents! We have an appointment in January at the dysphagia clinic at Primary, to see why Olivia doesn't eat. Funny, I thought that should be one of the first appointments we had, but they're booked out until January. The last one we had to schedule was an opthalmology appointment, to see what was up with Olivia's eyes. She had a lazy eye for quite some time, and we were of course concerned about neurological damage from the lack of oxygen when Olivia was born, so we've kind of been on pins and needles until this appointment to find out if her symptoms were just normal baby stuff, or signs of something more serious.

We had the appointment last week, and I am happy to report that Olivia passed with flying colors! She's exactly as far-sighted as she's supposed to be at her age, she tracks objects enthusiastically (the doctor had some really fun light-up toys for her to track), and she seems to be doing normal baby stuff. We thought so, but we were relieved to hear it from a professional, of course.

Olivia can't seem to fall asleep unless she's swaddled and has her sucker, but I forgot her blanket in the car at the hospital, so I wrapped her up in my sweater. She was way too distracted to eat right in the waiting room, so we ended up having to tube her. I hope we didn't scar any young children's minds or anything. Anyway, she finally was full and wrapped up and happy so she fell asleep, and woke up just in time for her appointment. Look how happy she is to be awake and playing opthalmology!

Also, for a long time, my mom had a file that she kept of pictures of her sleeping kids. She had some pretty funny ones in there, and they always seemed to be her favorite. I've noticed that I'm kind of a sleeping baby picture junkie, and I thought my mom would appreciate some of these. Sorry if they're boring to the rest of the reading audience

Also, no idea why that text is a link. I didn't do anything but cut and paste it, so whatever. Stupid blogger.

Dear Santa Claus

I hope you notice that I am writing you nice and early, before all the other little girls and boys have a chance to hog all your time. I am very considerate.

I have been a very good girl this year. I am learning to sit up straight and I'm learning to eat my food when I'm supposed to. I try so hard to eat as much as I should, even though my parents still have to help me a lot. My occupational therapist says I'm ahead for my age except for my feeding issues, and he doesn't really have an explanation for those. I poop everyday, sometimes twice, and I try to take out an entire outfit and set of bedding every time. That's just common courtesy. I still sleep through the night, every night, even though my parents are always up. You should talk to them about that. I am very polite and snuggly, just like a good baby girl should be.

If you have time before Christmas, I would like to ask you for a stuffed dinosaur like the one my mom had when she was a good little girl. She had a combination between a stegosaurus and a triceratops- it was pastel yellow and pink and green flannel, and it had horns and scales and a long tail. I think Kipper would appreciate the company, as well. Plus, my new dinosaur pj's are just asking for a stuffed dinosaur.

Thank you very much, Santa Baby. You are very handsome.

Olivia.

PS. Kipper has been a very good boy, too.

your mom goes to college

Ok, This is a little late, but my mom needs to see it, so here goes. This week was Lizzy's first week of college, and we got to move her in to her dorm! It was a pretty big deal, I'm not gonna lie. You have to be pretty cool to be asked to do something like that. Or live really close to campus or something.

Anyway, It was Olivia's first time going to college too, so we made sure to take lots of pictures of both of them. Here's Olivia all ready to go and waiting for mom to hurry up and put her in the car already. It seems like I'm always holding someone up these days.

Lizzy listening to her RA's orientation speech, ethernet cables, visiting hours, cannon center info, etc. It was about as fascinating as Lizzy's making it look, but she was a good girl and listened to the whole thing.

So did Olivia.

Moving her in was a little difficult since we had a clunky carseat/stroller combo, until we turned the stroller into a dolley and carried Olivia. We like to think outside the box, as college graduates.

Calling mom to say she's moved in.

Lizzy's floor theme is Seussville, this year. I'm enthusiastic about that. There's all these Seuss quotes on the walls, and of course I read each of them. I'm a sucker for quotes on walls. Charles got really frustrated with me when Olivia was in the NICU because I had to stop and read all the directions and updates and info and nonsense that was plastered on the walls. After I'd finally finished Timp's walls, we started all over at Primary's, and Charles got tired of having to steer me away to the elevators when I got sucked in by the walls. I am also a voracious shampoo bottle reader. Herbal Essences are the best reading, by the way.

Since Lizzy's gone to college, she's spent a total of three nights at our house. And hopefully she's spending the night Saturday, since our poker night is sure to last far into the morning, and I'm not driving her home, that's for sure. This week's theme is Ocean's Eleven poker. We're having sushi and mocktails and dressing up in our Brad Pittiest. And I am going to wipe the floor with them.

Olivia's happy place

So, Olivia seems to have caught a bug, and was very fussy last night. She kept spitting up after her feedings, and she had the sniffles and sneezes and an excess of boogers and snot. There's no polite way to say that. They were healthy and clear boogers and snot, but there was too much for me to be happy with. Bulb syringes (George, in our house. He's a regular member of the fam) are not my favorite, even though Olivia's fairly patient with me when I have to include George. Apologies in advance to my future nephew who will be named George. But my George was here first. Em, you're naming your kid after our bulb syringe.

Anyway, after Olivia went through her third pair of pj's last night, I decided to just leave her naked under her blanket, so I just diapered her and tucked her in the best I could so she couldn't grab her tube.

Outfit number 1.

Outfit number 2.

Ouftit number 3.

She finally fell asleep after she was swaddled with three different blankets, a hat, and a pacifier (sucker, in our house. It's a member of the fam, too) and even though she'd been kind of stressful for me all night, I had to capture the moment because it melted my heart.

For someone who's never had much patience with kids, I think I'm doing fairly well with Livie. I can't get enough time with her, even when she's being more difficult. I hate leaving her to go to work, and I love love love our feeding times, now that she's doing so well and seems to enjoy them, too. I guess it's a good thing that we get along so well, because Charles has a yucky case of walking pneumonia and isn't allowed to come near Olivia. Poor guy's been coughing and fighting so hard, and it's exhausting him. And he really misses his little girl, too. I hate being the mean one to say he can't sleep in the same room as us, but he understands. I just can't wait till he's better and we can all be a cuddly family again!

milk maid

Today, for the first time, I went out with my sisters and my baby, and we stayed out for several hours. We took Lizzy out to show her around the funner parts of Provo and Orem, and when it was time to feed Olivia, I didn't rush home to do so. I borrowed my sister's nursing cover, and nursed Olivia right where I was. I love having a wireless, portable kid. I am so grateful that she's been able to learn to nurse, and that she actually seems to prefer it to any other form of eating. Including her tube.

But since I have never before allowed myself or my daughter to be in this situation before (previously, I had rigorously planned outings for days when I knew precisely how much Livie had ingested, at precisely what time she would need to eat again, and even then only at times when we'd be sure to return home for the next feeding) I had yet to closely examine my feelings about breastfeeding in public.

My first memory of breastfeeding in public isn't really all that public. It was my friend Timmy's mom, in her own living room, talking with my mom while I played with Timmy and his little brother. I remember being somewhat shocked that other moms did this, too. I guess I thought Lizzy was the only baby who was ever breastfed. Like my mom had a special power that others did not possess. Years later, I learned that Timmy's mom had fought and won a battle with breast cancer. I don't know why, but the two images have always been connected in my mind: breastfeeding in public, and breast cancer. Can anyone explain that one for me?

Anyway, I've never really had a problem with breastfeeding in public. It's always been a very natural process in my mind, and while my own mom was very discreet about breastfeeding, I did not mind other women being less discreet.

Which is why I was a little suprised at how shy I was about breastfeeding in public today. I knew it was natural, I knew I was in a place inhabited only by women, I knew my baby girl was hungry and depending on me for sustenance, and I knew I had deliberately not packed any milk because it was time to do this. Yet when the time came, I hesitated. This bothers me, because as a mother and as a foodie, breastfeeding should totally delight me. It's gourmet motherhood at it's best.

I have since resolved to conquer any misgivings I have because I know that I am doing the right thing. While I will be careful to be discreet and respectful of others (who may not be as open-minded as I would hope) I will not be banished to a back room. Nor will I be confined to my home. How can I be expected to be a good mother, to teach my daughter about the world, if I cannot take her into it?

I am happy to report that I did not receive a single dirty look or rude comment while I fed Livie. I am also happy to report that she did a great job of eating on the run, and I'm so stinking proud of all the progress she's made. It seems a shame to waste it by not showing off her new skills, eh?

I'd like to hear what others have to say on the subject. I've posted a poll on the right, but please leave a comment as well, because I'm really interested to see what the consensus is among my friends and family.

sorry, grandma

I've been meaning to post this stuff for ages, but haven't really had much time to do so! My mom's dying for pictures and videos, though, so here you go, mom. This stuff may be boring to anyone without a vested interest in my baby, so you've been warned.

I however, think she's perfect. I could look at this stuff forever if I wasn't so busy with the real thing!

Three months old on Saturday, and this is what's new with Olivia:

1. She's a pro at holding her head up. Her occupational therapist was really impressed with the improvement from just two weeks ago. In fact, he says she's advanced for her age at sitting up. Boo ya.

2. She's cooing and talking non-stop. Especially for Aunt Lizzy, as you can see in the video. She just loved conversing with her. She's still not much of a crier. She can definitely express dissatisfaction, but just seems to be mostly satisfied with her life.

3. This is my favorite bit of news. She really only needs her tube for night time feedings these days. She's breastfeeding during the day, and does really well at it. It's turned into our favorite thing- not just my favorite, but hers, too! She stops every now and then to smile and coo, then gets back to business.

4. Still sleeping through the night! We have a perfect baby. She did wake us us the other morning at six, an hour before her feeding, by smacking her lips really loudly. She seems to have discovered her lips and tongue, because she just loves to lick and smack. lick and smack, lick and smack. Every time I pick her up, she licks my shoulder and smacks my shirt. I rather enjoy it!

5. Eyes still blue, but the red hair seems to be taming and turning brown. She still looks remarkably like her daddy, but a few people swear she sometimes resembles me when you squint. I still don't see it, but it's nice of them to say. Good thing Charles is so good-looking!

6. We were bored of Settlers the other night, because Charles kept winning. So we pulled up Texas Hold 'Em on wikipedia and taught ourselves to play. It's actually pretty fun! Mostly a psychological game, from what I can tell. We don't play for money or anything, obviously, but we've decided (we being Charles, Lizzy and I) that there are very many genres of poker that we need to explore. There's Ocean's Eleven style poker, Richard Gilmore style poker, boys night out style poker, smoky backroom in chinatown style poker, etc. We are slowly working our way through them. These are our poker faces. And yes, we wear hats and sunglasses. We're that serious about the game.

bleh

I've lost my muse. Ever since the first bout of morning sickness, I haven't felt like cooking. Someone please remind me how fun it used to be. What did I ever see in it? If I don't figure it out soon, I'm going to have to find a new hobby.